Dilla Nursyafitri

 A life with me won't be easy. Past trauma has taught me to guard my heart. I talk back and I stand up myself. My feelings are easily hurt. I overthink everything, often believing the worst case scenario. I'll need you to be very straightword and honest with me because people in my past proved to be deceitful and untrustworthy. I'll need constant reassurance of your love through words, but more importantly through actions. I'm still learning how to love myself. To see myself the way the God sees me. I fight the voices in my head each day that tell me I'm not enough. I fight anxiety. Some days I fight just to get out of bed. But I'm a fighter.  I fight your love and for your heart. I'll never quit on you. Sc: unknown

Banyak hal rumit yang ingin aku ceritakan kepadamu. Semua yang awalnya mampu aku telan sendirian, namun begitu terlambat aku pahami bahwa aku tak bisa sepenuhnya dan seterusnya memeluk luka ini sendirian. Boleh cerita sedikit banyak kepadamu, Tuan?

Di dunia yang udah gila ini, yang benar-benar harus dijaga adalah rasa takut kepada Allah. Takut kalau Allah ga ridho dengan apa yang kita lakukan, takut meninggalkan perintah-Nya, takut mendekati apa yang dilarang-Nya. Udah, itu aja biar bisa selamat

Hey blog. Long time ago we meet, I realized that I’ve never write something after that. As long as I tried to finding the divine of love, there were too many question had spinning around in my head.  What is that one act of kindness you'd do before you die? Did you get the message? What’s the point of having a relationship with someone? And what’s purpose of your dawah? The most important thing to do is to prepare for this event, for journey after death.  How to achieve it?  Evidently by repenting to Allah (swt); for He accepts all sincere repentance, even when a person returns from heresy or atheism.  In short, He accepts any form of repentance, full of joy, i.e this joy is compared to that of a person who has just lost his mount (camel or saddle horse) in the desert, finding it, he becomes all happy.  Repentance can only be effective if the person gets to work seriously, doing all of his Divine duties properly, without excluding anyone whatsover the motives th...

Ya Allah, tolong wafatkan hamba ketika misi hidup hamba telah selesai, perjuangan panjang di jalan dakwah sudah mencapai garis kemenangan, dengan cara yang baik, waktu yang tepat menurut ketentuan-Mu dan kondisi hamba yang sedang berada dalam keadaan setinggi-tingginya taqwa. Doa Nabi Yusuf, تَوَفَّنِي مُسْلِمًا وَأَلْحِقْنِي بِالصَّالِحِينَ “Wafatkanlah aku dalam keadaan muslim dan gabungkanlah aku dengan orang yang saleh.” [QS. Yusuf : 101]

 Ya Allah, please help me now

 Sebenarnya siapa yang perlu dikasihani? Orang-orang Palestina telah jelas memperoleh tiket ke syurga dengan cara syahid. Sementara kita belum tau nanti akhir hidupnya seperti apa 😭